You’ll leave the meeting feeling deflated thinking about the ‘negative’ feedback, even though there were so many positive takeaways from the same conversation. For instance, imagine that your manager has praised you a dozen times in your performance evaluation, but suggested two ways in which you can improve. “ Most of the time, these types of ‘shoulds’ are assumptions… the intensity of response can be enormous,” says Samson.ĭiscounting the Positive: This is another kind of cognitive distortion, where you tend to disregard your successes and strengths and instead focus on your failures and weaknesses. You “should” get recognition from your boss in the form of a raise or a promotion right? If you don't, you think you’ve failed and that catapults into feelings of resentment and self-doubt. As negative thoughts often come up automatically, we often ignore them. Should Statements: You just pulled off the biggest event of the year for the company and you’re expecting to be rewarded for it. The all-or-nothing ANT invokes polarised emotions within you: good or bad, success or failure, without any sort of middle ground. First is the awareness of one’s state and any automatic negative thoughts that arise. You start chastising yourself, thinking of yourself as incompetent and being convinced that you'll never find something else. Instead of thinking productively of the next step, you spiral. However, Samson focuses on three of the most common kinds of ANTs: All or Nothing, Should Statements and Discounting the Positive.Īll or Nothing: Imagine you’ve been laid off from your job for any number of reasons. There are about a dozen categories of Automatic Negative Thoughts - All or Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralisation, Discounting the Positive, Jumping to Conclusions, Catastrophising/Minimising, Emotional Reasoning, Should Statements, Labelling and Mislabelling and Personalisation.
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